• Intimate Partner Violence, Dating Violence, and Domestic Violence

    Many people in abusive relationships do not recognize the abuse taking place. If you think you, a friend, or a loved one are experiencing abuse in a relationship, we can help.

  • What is IPV/DV?

    Definition

    Intimate partner violence (IPV)--sometimes called battering, family violence, or domestic violence (DV)--is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person.

    IPV/DV can include physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, economic abuse, and/or sexual abuse. Abusers use threats, intimidation, isolation, excessive jealousy, and/or possessive behavior to gain and maintain power over the target of their abuse. This violence can cost victims their safety, homes, and lives. IPV/DV can involve any person with whom one has an intimate relationship, such as a partner, ex-partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, friend, or any other individual. An estimated two million people in the United States are victims of IPV/DV, a major public health issue that affects individuals, families, communities, schools, and the workplace. Anyone can experience IPV/DV, regardless of race, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, ability, size, looks, national origin, religious affiliation, gender identity, socioeconomic status, education, occupation, or any other identity.

    The New School uses DV and IPV interchangeably, but Domestic Violence also includes child abuse, elder abuse, or abuse by any member of a household.

    Warning Signs of Abuse

    • Checking your cell phone or email without permission 
    • Constantly putting you down 
    • Showing signs of extreme jealousy or insecurity 
    • Targeting you with an explosive temper 
    • Attempting to isolate you from family or friends 
    • Making false accusations
    • Blaming you for their mood swings 
    • Physically hurting you in any way 
    • Exhibiting extreme possessiveness 
    • Telling you what to do
    • Pressuring or forcing you to have sex 
    • Withholding money, medication, ID cards, etc.

    Common Examples of IPV/DV

    Isolation

    The abuser prevents you or makes it hard for you to see family and friends; tells you that family and friends cause problems and come between you two.

    Economic Abuse

    The abuser has complete control over money; makes you account for every penny you spend; takes your money from you; prevents you from getting a job or going to school.

    Verbal, Emotional, and Psychological abuse

    The abuser calls you names; puts you down or embarrasses you in front of other people; criticizes your abilities as a partner, parent, or in any other role (alone or in front of others).

    Intimidation

    The abuser makes you afraid with a look, action, or gesture; instills fear through threatening gestures (e.g., pretending to hit, push, punch, kick, etc.); manipulates you into doing something by reminding you of past abuse.

    Coercion and Threats

    The abuser shows you a weapon and threatens to use it on you; implies they can or will physically hurt you; threatens to "out" a secret (e.g., your sexual orientation) to family, friends, or employers; threatens to harm your family, friends, or anyone you would ask for help; threatens to commit suicide and tells you that it would be your fault (using language such as, "don't leave me/don't do this to me/I'll die without you/I'll kill myself if you ____.").

    Physical Abuse

    The abuser pushes, grabs, hits, slaps, punches, kicks, strangles, stabs, burns, or shoots you.

    Sexual Abuse

    The abuser forces you to have sex or perform any sexual act when you don't want to; makes you engage in sexual acts that make you uncomfortable; forces you to engage in prostitution.

    Using Children

    The abuser threatens to take away your kids by kidnapping or getting custody of them; pumps the kids for information about you; tries to turn your children against you; threatens to harm the children if you try to leave or seek help.

    Minimizing, Denying and Blaming

    The abuser makes you feel that the abuse is your fault; says outright that the abuse is your fault; says the abuse was caused by stress, alcohol, problems at work, other people, etc.; denies that the abuse happened at all; says it wasn't a big deal and blames you for being overly sensitive.

    Facts and Figures

    • Women and racial/ethnic minorities are disproportionately affected by IPV/DV. Data show higher lifetime rates of rape, physical violence, and stalking by an intimate partner.
    • Severe physical violence by an intimate partner is more likely to be reported by women (24%) than men (14%).
    • Women were more likely than men to experience multiple forms of IPV, both throughout their lifetime and within individual violent relationships.
    • By percentage, black non-Hispanic women (44%) and multiracial non-Hispanic women (54%) were significantly more likely to have experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate in their lifetime, compared to White non-Hispanic women (35%).
    • Asian or Pacific Islander non-Hispanic women (20%) were significantly less likely to have experienced these forms of IPV in their lifetime than White non-Hispanic women.
    • More than 45% of Alaska Native non-Hispanic men, 40% of Black non-Hispanic men, and 39% of multiracial non-Hispanic men had experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner; 28% of White non-Hispanic men experienced these same forms of IPV.
    • Among those who had experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, more than 22% of female victims and 15% of male victims experienced their first form of intimate partner violence between the ages of 11 and 17 years.
    • Nearly half of female victims (47%) and more than one-third of male victims (39%) were between 18 and 24 years of age when they first experienced violence by an intimate partner.
    • Each year, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes. Men experience about 2.9 million intimate partner-related physical assaults.
    • DV is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States.
    • Transgender people, people of color, gay men, and people under 30 are most affected by IPV.
    • Few LGBTQ IPV survivors access vital services including police, shelter access, and orders of protection.
    • Most cases of DV in the LGBTQH communities are never reported to the police.
    • According to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, domestic violence is the third leading cause of homelessness among families.
    • In New York City, 25% of homeless heads of household became homeless as a result of domestic violence.

    Sources

  • These are some of the most common examples, but IPV/DV comes in many forms. If your partner restricts your personal freedom or makes you afraid, you may be a victim of DV.

    If you are a victim of IPV/DV, you do not have to act alone. The New School offers many resources to support you.

  • If You Are Experiencing IPV/DV

    Seek Safety

    • If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
    • Separate yourself from the abuser: Go to a safe place and/or find someone you trust. 
    • Call Campus Security at 212.229.7001 (or x7001 from any university phone).
    • If needed, obtain medical attention. If the abuse involves sexual violence, consult the university’s Sexual Violence resources. Consider medical attention for treatment of any injuries and prevention of infections, and consider emergency contraception (Plan B, Ella) for prevention of pregnancy.

    Seek Protection

    • Document as soon as possible what happened (e.g., time, date, sequence of events, descriptions, witnesses)
    • Report the incident to the university or the police. Security/law enforcement can assist in obtaining orders of protection. Learn more about Orders of Protection. www.avp.org/resources/facts-sheets/term/summary
    • If you already have an order of protection, make copies and keep one with you at all times. Consider alerting campus security and local law enforcement. If you have a picture of the abuser, provide one. The New School’s security staff will not allow the abuser to enter New School buildings.
    • Develop a safety plan and a risk assessment for home, work, and school. Identify immediate strategies and actions to increase your safety.

    Seek Support

    Call a crisis hotline

    The legal system can be complex, and there are many choices to make along the way. The person you talk to can help you develop a safety plan, refer you to other services, and help you navigate getting an order of protection if that is something you want to do.

    Find support through on-campus or off-campus resources, family, or friends. If you do not feel comfortable talking to your friends, family, or campus members, contact a local victim service provider.

    The university will explore accommodations for your safety with you, such as changing residence halls, classes, etc.

    If you are a victim of a crime in New York State, you can apply for victim compensation. You do not need to be a New York State resident to be eligible for assistance from the Office of Victim Services (OVS).

  • You have the right to choose whether or not to do any or all of these options. Remember that seeking help, getting an order of protection, or deciding to leave is meant to reduce your risk of harm. If you believe any of these actions will jeopardize your safety, you may choose not to do so. Trust your instincts.

    IPV/DV is a serious violation of The New School Code of Conduct and the laws of the State of New York. You can report incidents of IPV/DV to the police or university staff.

  • Reporting and Support Resources

    Reporting to the Police

    You have the right to pursue criminal prosecution and/or civil litigation if you report the abuse to the police. You have two options: Reporting the abuse in person at the precinct where the abuse occurred or calling 911. (You can find your precinct on the  NYC police department website.) If you call 911, the police are required by law to come and investigate the emergency.

    Domestic Violence Incident Report

    Every time the police respond to a DV call, they are required to fill out a Domestic Violence Incident Report (DIR) and provide the caller with a copy, even if an arrest is not made.

    The Report Should Include

    • A Victim’s Rights Notice, which explains your legal rights and includes information about how to find DV services
    • The officers’ names and badge numbers, so that you can contact them again if you have questions or need to add information to the police report
    • An explanation if they are not making an arrest. (Note: New York State has “mandatory arrest” laws, which means that under certain conditions, the police must make an arrest.)
    • Your statement. Write it carefully. If English is not your first language, ask for an interpreter.

    Support and Resources

    The legal process can be complex, but there are many resources to help you navigate it. Explore the links below or reach out to a victim advocacy program to get guidance and support: 

    Staff from Student Support and Crisis Management and Campus Security are available to provide support and advocacy if you decide to report to the police.

    Reporting to the University

    If you have experienced IPV/DV, you are encouraged to report it to the university. You can make a report by email, in person, or by phone to any of the following university offices:

      Student Rights and Responsibilities

      72 Fifth Avenue, room 406
      Email: SRR@newschool.edu
      Phone: 212.229.5349
      Director – Gene Puno-DeLeon

      Title IX Coordinator

      72 Fifth Avenue, room 402
      Email: franconj@newschool.edu
      Phone: 212.229.5900 x3655
      Assistant Vice President for Student Life – Jennifer Francone

      Campus Security

      68 Fifth Avenue
      Email: ilicetot@newschool.edu
      Phone: 212.229.7001 (Security - 24 hours)
      Director – Tom Iliceto

      Student Support and Crisis Management

      72 Fifth Avenue, room 404
      Email: studentsupport@newschool.edu
      Phone: 212.229.5900 x3189 or x3710
      Director – Maureen Sheridan

        Once a report is filed, the university will provide the following information to you:

        • A clear explanation of the university’s investigative and hearing procedures
        • Information about where to access medical care
        • Information about your legal options
        • Information about where to access support services on and off campus

        Confidential Counseling and Assistance

        You can seek professional, confidential assistance either on campus at Counseling Services located at 80 Fifth Avenue, 3rd floor (212.229.1671), or off campus at a local Crime Victims Program.

      • The Emotional Impact of IPV/DV

        If you have experienced IPV/DV, you are not alone. IVP/DV is unfortunately common, and taking proactive steps to cope with your abuse is a brave step toward combating violence in our community. The emotional effects of IPV/DV are very real and can affect your social, academic, and professional performance. Reactions vary but may include depression, anxiety, phobias, stress-related conditions, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, medical problems resulting from injuries and/or stress, nightmares, hypervigilance, feelings of helplessness, fear for safety, denial, guilt, anger, and self-blame. 

        No matter what the circumstances, remember that you are not to blame for the abuser’s behavior. Nobody has the right to violate your boundaries or commit violence against you.

      • IPV/DV in our Community

        Every two years, The New School participates in the National College Health Assessment (NCHA), a health survey sent to all undergraduate and graduate degree seeking students. The results are anonymous and help Student Health Services develop appropriate services and programs based on student needs. Information from the 2013 NCHA report, which includes responses from 1,631 current New School students, indicates that IPV/DV and stalking were experienced by a significant percentage of our community. For example, 9.5% of participants reported being in an emotionally abusive intimate relationship, and 6.3% experienced stalking within the last 12 months.

        Online Dating and Violence

        Online dating and hook-up sites and apps enable you to meet people in a city where it can often feel hard to do so. You have a right to expect all aspects of a hook-up to be consensual. Incidents of hook-up violence can happen in private or in public spaces such as bars, sex/play parties, and people are sometimes reluctant to report these incidents due to the stigma around the use of these sites and apps. Even if you decide not to report the incident to the university or the police, there are resources to help you cope with the experience.

        How to help a friend experiencing IPV/DV

        • Listen. Avoid making judgments and giving advice.
        • Take the situation seriously. If you are concerned about your friend’s safety, tell them.
        • Offer to help them reach out to resources on and off campus when they are ready.
        • Share this information with them, suggest they call one of the resources.

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