• No one is ever “asking for it.” Rape and sexual assault are acts of violence and degradation, an unwanted violation of one’s body. The idea that survivors were “asking for” such violence is a tactic of rape culture, intended to blame survivors for violence directed at them.
• Rape is not a product of uncontrollable lust. Rape is an act of violence, domination, and control. Rape is not a way to show affection, attraction, love, or desire. Furthermore, rape is not sex. This is an important distinction to make because if we think of rape as an act of sex, rape becomes permissible. 
• Rape and assault are acts of violence, but rape is not always committed by an anonymous attacker wielding a weapon. While rape may be perpetrated by a stranger, it is far more common for the survivor to know the person who assaulted them. Moreover, the U.S. Department of Justice reports that 80 percent of all rapes and cases of sexual assault do not involve a weapon.
• Being assaulted or raped is not an indicator of the sexuality of the victim or the perpetrator. For example, men who rape and assault other men may relate less to homosexuality than to power and the emasculation of the victim.
• An orgasm does not equal consent, nor does it represent a positive emotional response. 
• Women are not the only survivors of sexual assault and rape: Sexual assault and rape can happen to anyone and be perpetrated by anyone, regardless of gender or sexuality.
• Rape and assault can occur even if the survivor did not fight back. If a survivor did not consent, the act was assault. Consent cannot be obtained through fear or threats of violence. No consent equals rape.
• Consent must be acquired for each sexual act, every time. The fact that a person has consented to something once before does not mean they always give consent. It is possible for a spouse or significant other to perpetrate assault. Sex workers can also be violated; being paid for sexual acts does not prevent them from sexual assault or deny them rights.
• False reporting is extremely rare—similar to all violent crimes it is estimated at approximately 2%. Claiming that survivors “cry rape” is a tactic of rape culture. In fact, sexual assault is dramatically underreported: Federal statistics show that only about 16 percent of cases are reported to the police. 

Gender

When thinking about identity and sexual violence, it is important to understand that gender identity is not the same as biological sex. Gender is a spectrum, and individuals can choose to identify in endless ways. Nonetheless, people are categorized by those around them, sometimes in terms that are at odds with how they see themselves. People who identify as “cis-gender”—those whose gender identity matches their biological sex—may experience this less as a problem. Transgender individuals are often subjugated through intentional misidentification, even being described as “it.” This mis-gendering and un-gendering is closely linked with rape culture and heteronormativity—the assertion that only a male gender and a female gender exist. 

Risk

When considering risk in the context of sexual and gendered violence, it is important to acknowledge that it is not the survivor’s duty to eliminate risk. Therefore, is not the survivor’s responsibility to change their behavior; their behavior is not the problem. Reducing risk involves increasing awareness about sexual assault, educating ourselves and others about healthy sexual practices like active consent, and being accountable for our own actions in relation to sex and consent. 

Heteronormativity

Heteronormativity is the normative claim recognizing only two genders: male and female. This restrictive perspective asserts that people only fall into either of those categories and that relationships—as well as sex—only occur between cis-gendered men and women.

Rape Culture

A rape culture encourages, condones, or ignores sexual aggression and gendered violence. Many people believe that in the West today we live in a culture of violence that, when expressed in relation to sex and gender, manifests as rape culture. Because we live in a culture where sexual assault and discrimination is excused, brushed off, or ignored, survivors of sexual abuse are often blamed for their assault and various myths about sexual assault are spread.

It is important to remember that rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone: men or women (cis-gendered or trans) as well as those who are gender queer or gender nonconforming. Sex workers can be rape victims. Someone can be raped or assaulted regardless of their race or socioeconomic status, their sexual orientation, the clothing and makeup they are wearing, their sexual past, or their relationship to the perpetrator. No one is ever “asking for it.”

It is important to remember that not all perpetrators are masked men hiding in bushes. Although rape can be perpetrated by a stranger, it is far more common for a survivor to know the person who assaulted them. This is commonly referred to as “acquaintance rape.” The Rape, Assault, and Incest National Network (RAINN) estimates that 73 percent of all sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger.

Survivor Blaming and Slut Shaming

Rape culture characterizes assault as a natural consequence of provocation. This deeply problematic, flawed perspective perpetuates the myth that sexual violence is the survivor’s fault and is expressed in behavior as “survivor shaming.” One of the most common forms of survivor blaming is known as “slut shaming,” which is characterized by comments such as “they deserved it or were asking for it because they were…"

• walking around late at night
• in a relationship with their rapist
• not fighting back
• alone
• drinking alcohol
• making eye contact with an attacker

The individual’s self-presentation—clothing and make up—and sexual history are often used to explain and excuse assault. 

Survivor shaming and blaming relies on two assumptions: that an “attack” took place and that the assault occurred between two people of the opposite gender. These assumptions are based on a very narrow definition of assault, where the crime can only committed by strangers, and victims are people who fit in the heteronormative male-female binary.

This understanding of assault is entirely limited: In reality, perpetrators are more often acquaintances; assaults can happen between people who identify with the same gender; cis-gendered women can be capable of assault; and cis-gendered men can be survivors. 

Slut shaming as a form of survivor blaming, although usually targeting cis-gendered women, can target transgender persons or members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex or Asexual (LGBTQIA) community. In those cases, survivors are then blamed not only for their overt sexuality but also for not fitting into binaries enforced by heteronormativity.  

Hypermasculinity and Assault

Hypermasculinity is an exaggeration of stereotypical male behavior emphasizing physical strength and aggression. Hypermasculinity is often a factor in acts of gender-related and sexual violence. Those who act in hypermasculine ways are more likely to engage in abusive behavior, and those who are perceived as hyperfeminine are more likely to be abused.

Intersectionality

The notion of intersectionality recognizes how power in society stems from multiple and interconnected gender, class, and race-based subordination. Rather than a “single-axis” framework in which race, gender, class, and ability are treated as mutually exclusive categories of experience, intersectionality takes into account the overlap in identities that make discrimination and suppression more acute. Intersectionality is important when thinking about sexual assault, because it changes the experience of the assault and the survivors’ response (and often the response of those in positions of power), and because it represents a factor of risk of sexual assault. That is, some identities increase an individual's risk of assault, and the more of those identities a person claims or has placed on him or her, the greater the risk of sexual violence.