End the Oppression of Progressive Sea-mammals
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    End the Oppression of Progressive Sea Mammals

    Gnarls and his fellow students make the term “Narwhal Nation” a reality.

    Gnarls the Narwhal embraces being a fish out of water. In fact, it’s his gift. Also, he’s not a fish — he’s a whale. He’d like you to remember that. But that’s the least of his concerns.

    Gnarls inset

    Gnarls’ thirst for knowledge, for progress, started at home in the icy waters off the coast of Norway, where he learned that he was different from the other narwhals — different in that he had legs, could use them, and desired to put pants on them. What set him apart from the herd as a young calf eventually made Gnarls exceptional.

    With his unique ability to walk on land and his capacity to breathe air (because that’s already what narwhals do), and with global warming melting the polar caps and threatening the home of his family, Gnarls took it upon himself to effect change. He’d heard about a university called The New School from a student traveling by boat during a semester abroad. As soon as he heard the girl say the school was “a university that swims against the current,” he knew it was the school for him. He’d never shied away from a challenge. His name was Gnarls.       

    In 2013, Gnarls enrolled at this progressive university in New York City, where his love of art, academics, athletics, activism, and every combination thereof finally came to fruition. Considerably larger than most humans, and wanting to reduce his body mass of roughly 50 percent blubber, Gnarls embraced student activities, quickly becoming the face of the university’s Athletics and Recreation department. Face, not mascot. Because narwhals are real, not magical unicorn-dolphin-clowns. Also, while we’re at it, his tusk is not an exposed weapon. It’s actually an ingrown tooth, so please try not to be afraid of him. 

    Gnarls’ urgent desire to solve pressing world problems was stoked by his classmates. He delved into performance classes like Vogue’ology, combining dance and social theory and challenging old ideas of “human realness.” And in the course New School Eco-Mariners, he constantly bucked popular opinion, introducing his classmates to the concept of “marine mammal agency.” His in-class screening of Blackfish, the controversial documentary on SeaWorld, won him respect among his peers and throughout their activist community. He now plans to further this cause with the growing social media campaign #mammalsunite.

    The New School, with its attention to all mammal rights, is a force of sustainability, recreation, and activism. Be a Force of New.

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